


13 Beats On A Single Drum

by sian1359



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Reverse Big Bang Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sian1359/pseuds/sian1359
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War, Abduction, Alcohol, Death</p>
            </blockquote>





	13 Beats On A Single Drum

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Second Shot Won't Be A Warning](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/11334) by soundslikej. 



> This one was tough. The story took quite a few turns from my initial outline despite having such interesting marching orders from the Mix set this was inspired by. It's one of the bleakest things I've written, though not quite as dark as I first envisioned. It is also one of the least story-like pieces I've tried; going more for mood and tone than plot. I hope it works, as the set soundslikej put together deserves it.
> 
> Emergency beta performed by the Gang of Two and Himself, though I didn't give them much time and am never satisfied, so I tinkered and fiddled until I realized I'd end up missing my deadline if I didn't stop.
> 
> For the 2012 Avengers Reverse Big Bang.

**1\. Spit the Dark**

_I will guide you in the night_

Phil Coulson is not a nice man. He likes to think he's a good man, but nice…. Nice does not kill an unarmed man though a good man might. Might chose to kill someone who'd tortured and killed others, who had been caught removing the eye of a soldier before throwing down his weapons and begging for mercy himself when caught in the act. (Such killing hadn't been for vengeance or justice, had simply been necessary to ensure future soldiers or civilians did not become pawns and playthings in a terrorist's bid to sew chaos and leave death and destruction in their wake.)

A nice man doesn't chose to join the CIA or allow himself to be recruited into an even more covert alphabet agency dealing with not quite so American-centric global concerns in the first place. (Not that the CIA – or SHIELD – had much use for a nice man anyway, not when their task was to sanction and carryout missions and objectives that toppled regimes or assassinated people that needed to be killed, all for the greater good.) A good man might have a few regrets that such agencies needed to exist or such jobs had to be undertaken, but a good man could do what needed to be done without guilt keeping him awake through the night or be unable to look at himself in the mirror the next morning.

Phil is not a nice man, but he can be nice. To the civilians that sometimes get caught up in circumstances greater than their knowledge and even the ones who should know better yet get caught up all the same. Phil is also dedicated. To Nick Fury personally (the one-eyed soldier who didn't retreat in anger or despair after Iran, the man who's vision became greater for his loss). He's dedicated to SHIELD and the preservation of freedom, both global and individual. So he dedicates his life to doing what is right and dedicates his soul to the men and women, to every asset, every agent, and every contractor or specialist that he is in charge of or needs to recruit. If needs, he is their shepherd, their conscience, their confessor, their voice in the night. And, sometimes, he is their friend. 

Phil Coulson is not a nice man, but he is a contented one. And at the end of the day, he is fine with that.

Even if he occasionally dreams of more.

 

**2\. Take The Heartland**

_I set myself by the west, by the watch, by the wall_

It's his eye that first singles Clint Barton out from the other kids, his brother. His eye along with his eyes; his ability to see what others do not. Of course, such a thing in a young boy makes him feared. Gets him shunned if he's lucky and beaten when he's less so. His eye is what makes Clint special, however, and he holds onto it even when they are blurred by tears.

When it turns out his hand coordination matches his eye, things become both better and worse. He finds a new home yet loses his family, has his skills appreciated though for all the wrong reasons. He learns about heartache as well as betrayal, discovers that he has a moral compass despite what the Sisters had all told him. He takes to heart that he can trust no one but himself, yet also realizes that he's okay with that. He's good as a loner, bartering his skills and his body and owing no one.

It's an empty life, though, with no more substance to it than his circus persona and no more meaning than his parents' apologies before they abandoned his six year old self by dying. He joins the Marines for a time, in hopes of finding something more, and while his skills once again make him stand out and once again earn him praise instead of fear, the more he finds is born out of politics and paid for by blood, and while he's basically okay that his own life had little value, his disappointed to find out those above him too often feel that no life had value beyond their own.

On a mountaintop in Afghanistan, Clint understands, finally, how disappointment can turn a father into a drunken bully, how despair can turn nuns into demons, how dejection causes a brother to become a traitor, how desperation causes mentors to become criminals.

And how detachment can twist a soldier into an assassin, even if his COs call him something nicer.

To them Clint Barton is only his eye and his aim, is a weapon there to be set on a target. In his own mind he becomes a ghost, becomes death, moving through the living yet barely living himself. He knows he needs to quit, lest he becomes another Creed, or Wilson, or Poindexter, but he also knows he will never survive as a civilian. That without his eye and his aim, he is nothing.

So his drifts. A ghost for the army, then the same within the underground, the deaths he deals there of his own choosing and sometimes of his own making. Clint knows that his moral compass isn't really true enough to be judge as well as executioner, but he does his best. And when he makes mistakes, his owns them, as well as the Hell he is crafting for himself, brick by brick by good intention.

Until his walls are shattered by a mild-mannered man with beautiful eyes and his own lethal aim, using words as well as bullets.

Clint grabs hold of the hand Phil Coulson offers, figuratively, spiritually, and even literally, letting Coulson help him away from the ambush and out of the alley, not yet trusting but knowing enough to recognize salvation when it reaches for him.

Coulson's bosses give him the connection that Clint had lost when he'd needed leave his home, the orphanage, the circus. They fill the holes the military aspired to but never managed. SHIELD gives him purpose, as a weapon yes, but also as a man, as someone who has value beyond his eye, his aim, and his willingness to pull the trigger when it's needed. SHIELD gives him purpose and a home, while Phil Coulson gives him the ability to trust again. To love.

It may be his eye that singles Clint Barton out, but in Phil Coulson, Clint learns that it is his heart that makes him special.

 

**3\. Blood Loss**

_Fingers inside your heart and your mind. You'll never get out of this_

Red rover, red rover, we call Natalia over. Red rover, red rover, redrover, red over, red lover, red, red, red –

Death and Natalia Alianovna Romanova are old friends, are partners as well as adversaries. Are intimate in all the ways one who is both predator and prey can be. She has no fear of death, in the dealing of it or over when it might come for her, and while she doesn't court it, she does sometimes enjoy the dance.

No, the only trouble she has with death is that she has no idea whether her acceptance and occasional joy in it are memories and emotions of her own, or if those feelings are simply one more piece of programming the Red Room gave to.

While she is under the control of her masters, her questions have no relevance. When she breaks from them and strikes out on her own, she has little time for such questions, nor the patience to ponder them, much less ask them of someone else. She cannot undo what they did, after all, cannot unmake herself as they did over and over again, since she has nothing of her real self to fill what she might strip away.

It isn't until she is caught – and spared – that the one called the Black Widow thinks of her relationship with death again. That she thinks about masters and unmakings, and about who she is. Those are Fury's questions, and Coulson's, her new masters… only not. They become her questions when Clint never asks them, when he tells her that she is not unmade, but instead made new. That now she can be whoever she wants to be. It's idiocy mixed with the arrogance of the West (just like Clint), but in his foolish naivety there is also truth. She will never be quit of what was done to her, never be quit of death, but those things will define her from here on out only because she wishes it and no one else. Not even SHIELD.

Death is an old friend, but no longer Natasha Romanoff's only friend.

 

**4\. Trouble With Poets**

_I wish that peace of mind was something I could steal_

"Fury needs Barton."

"Last I looked on the organizational chart, he's the man in charge of everything," Phil comments mildly without looking up from his paperwork until he completes the section he is filling in. "He doesn't need my permission –"

Maria's expression is simply The Look, calling Phil on his bullshit as she closes the door to Phil's office behind her.

"Fine," he acknowledges with no change to his own unperturbed mask despite the small, barely perceptible, increase in his heart rate. As Maria so eloquently reminded him, Barton and Romanoff are Phil's assets to watch over and assign, and not even Nick Fury will gainsay that by commandeering either of them without Phil's say so. And without Phil already being in the know for why one of them might be needed and often making the suggestion himself. Only this time…

"Why does Fury need Barton?"

Maria's face twists into displeasure, something she would never show in other company; as Fury's second and as a woman who can dare show no weakness, Maria's masks are even more composed and infallible than Phil's. The only exception is between the two of them.

Phil's heart rate spikes a little quicker.

"Mrs. Peacock –"

Here, Maria lets her contempt shine through the displeasure, does little to disguise it in her voice, either. Mrs. Peacock is the codename some of the senior echelon within SHIELD calls the World Security Council's Indian member, along with Miss Scarlet for the representative from Brazil, Colonel Mustard being the Russian's blowhard, Professor Plum the name for the Saudi rep, and the Chinese Mrs. White. America's own member of the secret oversight committee SHIELD reports to is Reverend Green, of course.

"– has requested Barton – well, the agent codenamed _Hawkeye_ – for her protection detail when she joins President Kapur on the stage tomorrow as his Minister of Foreign Trade Commerce."

"Mrs. Peacock has a ridiculous amount of security already around her," Phil scoffs, letting free his own derisive expression and tone. "Why in the world does she need someone else? And a foreigner at that, after such a divisive election?" 

Maria gives a small shrug and makes her response a question in return. "Because rumor has it that the Opposition Party has put Deadpool on their payroll and Peacock wants her own assassin to keep Sedhari – and Wilson – in check?" She shrugs again.

"Fury asked her the same thing that you asked me. Peacock claims she just wants Hawkeye to be in charge of her children's protection, not her own during the event. She says he won't ever be in front of the cameras. That she's not going to bring the kids out on the podium, after all, since she's not the one going to be making the speeches."

Phil isn't mollified, not by a long shot, but it isn't like he can really refuse. Not without having a very good reason. Nick has always given him and Maria a lot of latitude in how their run their divisions within SHIELD, but there are certain commands even Nick would be hard pressed to disregard. The only reason this one is actually an issue with the narrowest of wiggle-space, is because Peacock's order is for personal motives, not for the overall betterment of the humanity or even her country's. Phil could refuse, and he knows that Fury would back him, but the consequences, if not immediate, then down the line, could come back to bite them in the ass at the most inconvenient time.

"Peacock doesn't have a clue as to who Hawkeye really is," Maria offers when Phil has let his silence go for too long. "She doesn't even know what his general appearance looks like. We could send her someone else –"

Phil cut her off, though he offered her a tight smile in appreciation for the potential out. "Wilson and Clint served in Afghanistan together for a couple of tours and have crossed paths more than once since. If Sedhari has really gone to Stryker for muscle and sent Wilson, we _should_ send Hawkeye, for exactly the reasons you espoused lest someone get the idea that we are willing to let our interests in that part of the world go."

Phil sighs and allows his frustration and exhaustion show through; it's been a long and busy six months, full of terror and wonder, and none of them are yet sure which side will win out: Gods, Super-Heroes and Super Soldiers versus monsters, aliens and just plain old terrorists.

 _May you live in interesting and exciting times_ is indeed a curse as well as a blessing. And Phil has a feeling they are only just getting started.

"I'll tell Barton to pack."

*******

Phil happens to be on the command deck of the helicarrier when the chaos erupts in New Dehli. He's pounding for his quarters and go bag before the echoes of the explosions and cries have started to fade, only half hearing Maria calling a quinjet up to the flight deck first before directing the station watchers to contact any on site personnel. Phil does hear Fury's command to redirect the supersonic jet back to New York to pick him up before it takes off for New Dehli and he tries not to feel resentment over the delay.

It is much too soon to know who all the bodies belong to, to know whether Mrs. Peacock – or Clint – have survived, but Phil knows that won't stop the other members of the World Security Council from calling in for information. Nor from assigning blame once they hear the news themselves. SHIELDs window is maybe half an hour before the WSC starts to interfere, not enough time for Phil to reach India even without the redirect, not even in their souped-up Stark-Wakanda jet. Still, it will be enough time to get Fury in the air and basically incommunicado. To leave Maria holding the bag initially, but then she's a master at obfuscation as well as stalling the WSC; has more than enough practice as Fury is often too 'busy' to be at their beck and call even when he is at HQ or on the helicarrier.

At least with Fury on site alongside Phil to deal with the local politicians and the international community, Phil will be able to delve right into the rescue and recovery as well as the investigation. Which he will do. Despite his selfish motives.

Because as important as Clint is to him, so too is the defense of freedom and peace. He wouldn't be the man that Clint had fallen for, that Clint _trusted_ , if his only concerns and intentions were to see after Clint. Just as Clint wouldn't be the man Phil loved in turn had he let his own personal feelings about Mrs. Peacock or his desires regarding Phil keep him from doing his own job. Senses of duty and dependability were just as big turn-on as looks and muscles in Phil's appreciation of Clint, or competence and control were in Clint's attraction to Phil.

Their jobs aren't just something they do, but are who the both of them are, right down to their cores. Even if these jobs one day take them from one another. Not that Phil will ever be ready to receive SHIELD's equivalent of a carefully folded and presented flag, with the same being for Clint should the situation come in reverse.

Not that Phil's ulcer and receding hair line doesn't have him occasionally wishing the two of them were at least beyond all these current years and stresses, retired and doting on the grandchildren.

Phil isn't the least surprised to find Natasha waiting at Fury's elbow when the quinjet sets down atop SHIELD's New York Headquarters. Although she cannot bear them herself thanks to the horrors visited upon her by the Red Room, the grandchildren he and Clint envision in their future are always hers.

********

"Natasha's confirmed it. The attack was instigated by one of Indira's own son," Fury tells Phil in a quiet voice as he walks up to where Phil's parked himself at the observation glass overlooking the burn unit Clint's spent his last four days in.

Now that they've flown back to New York, Phil's been able to observe Clint's treatment and progress, has even been able to sit in with Clint a few times once he dons a clean suit, regardless of visiting hours. Clint is still sleeping through most of the hours (until the pain gets to be too much an awakens him), and Phil's time is still scheduled around meetings and debriefings with the agents still on scene and those looking into how the terror groups SHIELD always keeps an eye on is reacting to the India incident, but the only reason he's standing in observation now instead of being in with an alert Clint is because the room is overcrowded with the three nurses in there with Doc Evanston, the nurses helping by holding Clint stationary as the burned skin across his back is being debrided.

"How is that going to affect her seat on the Council?" Phil asks, not really caring, or only caring since a new member might offer even less funding and support to SHIELD despite how obvious it is that SHIELD is needed now more than ever.

"It is unlikely she'll be kicked off, and she's not about to step down in the foreseeable future. I imagine she'll find some way to spin it to be our fault instead of her own – or her son's."

Phil stiffens and draws himself up to his full height before turning to look at Fury. "I won't allow Clint to be made a scapegoat."  

Fury gives him a faint smile before his expression falls back into his perpetual, intimidating smile. "Neither will I," he assures Phil. "Natasha was also able to confirm it was Ten Rings people who supplied the kid with his bomb materials and turned his head to their anarchistic ideals. Irrefutable proof, complete with notes, witnesses, and audio and video of several meetings. SHIELD has more than done its due diligence since the Stark Incident when it comes to those guys, and the WSC has been briefed and updated every step of the way. There is no way Indira can claim ignorance of the danger the group pose to her country or anyone else, to target anyone specifically. If she tries, it will be her own judgment on the line since she was the one who requested Hawkeye. And," Fury adds, his scowl becoming more of a wolfish grin that is all teeth and no little pleasure, "I'm thinking she's going to be too busy explaining how her neglect wasn't the cause of her second son becoming suicide bomber to worry about much of anything beyond her own ass."

Phil is not quite so confident that she won't use anything – anyone – she can to shift the blame off herself, but there is little he, Fury, or SHIELD can do in such a case but weather through it. And protect their asset.

Fury sets his hand on Phil's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "If nothing else, she'll lose her seniority and while that's no guarantee whoever they elevate will be better, none of them could be worse. At least we will still be dealing with the devils we know."

Phil nods, because it's Nick, now, who is trying to cheer him up instead of his boss passing on relevant intel. He appreciates the gesture, even if Nick isn't any better at offering pep talks than Natasha. Just like the case with her, it's the thought that counts, however. Phil doesn't really need comforting anyway. Clint will be fine, will be on medical leave for a couple of weeks then, perhaps light duty for a few weeks more, but given the state of the room Phil had found him in – that Clint had been sheltering Indira's two youngest children with his own body when the blast had gone off – the outcome could have been so much worse.   

"Looks like they're just about done there," Fury – Nick – tells Phil with another squeeze to his shoulder before the hand slides off.

He's right, Phil sees, as he returns his attention back to the room below them instead of staying lost in his troubled thoughts. Clint has a ridiculous pain threshold as well as a surprisingly friendly relationship with SHIELD medical personnel despite his unwillingness to stay within their clutches once he feels he's able to leave (and regardless of their expert opinions). He's usually a godsend when Natasha's the one stuck in medical, running interference and actually handling some of the more embarrassing or tedious nursing functions so that Natasha's own interactions with the caregivers are limited. And safer. For everyone involved.

"When the doctor signs off on Barton being able to return to the field, I've got an easy job lined up for the both of you," Nick sliding into Fury continues. "Doctor Selvig feels he is ready to begin direct testing on the cube and NASA has agreed to let SHIELD take control of the southwest tracking facility Congress was going to shut down in a few months. I want you to set up the facility and assign the personnel, while Barton can head up the security arrangements and stick around until he's back on full duty to keep his eye on things if things go hinky. Put Jimmy Woo in charge of the day to day operations once it gets going. You and Maria can take turns checking the progress being made, then decide which of the two of you will oversee the Phase Two projects if Selvig really gets that far."

Clint will hate it, but he would hate being put on monitor duty or inactive status more. It's a neat compromise as well as a favor, since Agent Woo is more than competent in overseeing even the set up of the facility, at least until the phase two portion of the project gets underway. By making all of the initial arrangements, however, no one will think twice when Phil returns to debrief Selvig or Woo, or consult with the facility's head of security. The best of both worlds, actually, being able to keep regular contact with Clint, yet also staying abreast of the Stark situation, the Captain America project, any additional Ten Rings movements (or HYDRA's or AIM's), and whatever missions Natasha might need be sent to undertake.

If it also got Clint, and by extension Phil himself, off the WSC's radar, so much the better.

 

**5\. Refugee**

_Everybody has to fight to be free_

Help save the world – from an alien invasion no less –and you don't get thanked. Instead, you earn yourself weeks of lockdown after the nice alien took the evil one away. You earn yourself a battery of meaningless and invasive tests, perform by a cadre of doctors and head shrinkers that have never been in a field much less in a combat situation. Along with the suspicions, anger and fear of people you once considered at least friendly if not actual friends.

Then, in addition to all of that, _on top_ of having had your will subsumed and your mind peeled apart until your secrets and soul were laid bare while you became simply a tool and plaything to the evil alien, you get told that your lover of six years was killed during the attack you unwillingly led. Only to then be told that, no, Phil has survived.

Only you can't see him, can't see for yourself that he is recovering (or not), and can't even ask someone who might still be a friend to check for you, because you might still be a danger to him, her, to them. That you might still be _compromised_ , and there is no place within SHIELD for someone that can no longer be trusted.

Clint puts up with hearing that for about six weeks. Long enough for his ribs and ankle to heal to the point that he can start exercising in his cell again, for his body to not betray itself with the nightmares even if they still occur two nights out of three. Long enough for Clint to learn the patterns of the not so random visits and patrols of the people surrounding him.

Because these are not really SHIELD people keeping an eye on him, not the guards, at least. Nor are the 'doctors' as Clint's gotten to know all of the regular SHIELD medical people over all his years working for the Agency. Clint's not sure whether someone from SHIELD is watching the video feeds, or maybe watching the watchers, but he's been here long enough for him to figure out that SHIELD isn't going to do anything to get him out, whether they're involved in his incarceration or not.

It's this last realization that gives all of the others their true meaning; that serves as Clint's catalyst and the proverbial last straw. SHIELD isn't coming for him. _Phil_ isn't coming for him, because he probably can't. Natasha will either be watching over Phil herself in Clint's stead, or is waiting for him to take care of his problems himself.

No way will Tasha have let herself get caught like he did; her inherent distrust of doctors would have kept her away from follow-up treatment in the first place, and even if she has figured out that Clint has been taken into custody – even if she had decided to come after him – she never would have gotten caught by the idiots running this asylum.

Just as Clint can't be held by the idiots, not now that he has decided he's on his own again, maybe permanently (at least until he arranges a meet with Natasha), maybe not. He's not sure he hasn't been betrayed by SHIELD (not Natasha, never Phil), but he has obviously been cut loose. He's now likely a liability Fury cannot afford, given the new world they'd all awoken to thanks to Loki, the Chitauri, and the WSC's willingness to nuke an American city. (Any city, really, as Clint has no doubt they would have taken the same actions had the invasion started in Moscow, Beijing or any other city throughout the world.)

Clint is still careful not to kill anyone as he breaks out. Not because he cares about their specific lives one way or another, but because Phil taught him not to be lazy and, frankly, because he's dealt enough death recently, even if he doesn't keep a ledger as Natasha does. There could be innocents here, simply performing their jobs to the best of their ability, convinced that they are _helping_ Clint by keeping him prisoner. Or people not even knowing what, who, they are watching. He'd be a hypocrite to blame them, to kill them for no crime worse than believing in the people they work for.

Once he's free, it doesn't take Clint long to figure out he isn't in an American city and he silently applauds the WSC for their foresight. He's somewhere in the Far East despite all of the people he'd seen inside _not_ being Asian, loose upon streets belonging to nothing more than a town with, no doubt, an insular and interwoven population. A lone Caucasian, running around in scrubs and without shoes will stand out and be noticed, be _reported_ if he's lost himself in China, North Korea or even Viet Nam or the Philippines.

Clint hides his smile and pulls out the jacket and boots he's liberated from one of the guards that was close enough to his size. For once his lack of height works in his favor; had he stood as tall or broad as Thor, or even Rogers, it wouldn't matter what kind of clothing he found for cover. But leather jackets are ubiquitous amongst young toughs, even in interior towns within China, and one of the other things Clint has found as he'd searched the pockets of his disabled captors is a pair of sunglasses. His _own_ pair of shooting glasses. Kids wore the wrap around, razor cut style as symbols of power, as a warning, while Clint used them when he needed to while in the field. And sometimes to intimidate or hide, but there's no one around to call him on that and he could stand to appear intimidating right now instead of looking like a victim. Or escapee.

Clint hides his smile, because there are only two people within SHIELD that understand the significance of the Snake Charmer in Carson's Traveling Circus having been one of the Vietnamese boat people, the horse handler had been from Manila, or that for six months the circus had hired a pair of Chinese acrobats to bolster flagging ticket sales. Clint knows enough of their languages to get by, understanding them better than he speaks them. He is also fluent in both Korean and Japanese, thanks to his Army days. 

The WSC has access to his Army record and know about those languages, which is why he bets to himself that he's being held somewhere in China. He confirms that in the first building he breaks into, overhearing the radio or television that the security guards are listening to instead of doing their jobs, although he supposes he could still be in North Korea. Or hearing something coming through by satellite or internet.

A quick look around the warehouse still isn't enough to confirm anything more than the boxes having originated in China, but once he finds a catwalk above the shipping floor and creeps along the shadows to where he can get his first look at other people, he gives the WSC a little more credit for their precautions. He's in North Korea, has ducked into a government building – a _military_ building – which means he's toast if he gets caught.

Or so it should be. But just because Clint has been a SHIELD agent for nearly ten years and fights on the side of the angels (even if they sometimes come tarnished), doesn't mean he always walks on the light side. Or that Hawkeye is the only name he answers to.

There is a certain arrogance in adopting a codename of Ronin while working in Asia, especially for a Caucasian. But, then, Ronin is a pretty arrogant guy. He's also a guy who moved up through the ranks of the Copper Dragon Triad by taking out the people above him that were too stupid, too slow or too unskilled to stop him. Ronin has a reputation, even in North Korea, as well as all sorts of contacts throughout the entire Far East region. China included.

SHIELD and the WSC aren't the only ones who have no use for Clint Barton right now.

 

**6\. War Buddies**

_The second shot won't be a warning_

It takes Natasha five days to figure out that Clint isn't in the area, but she forgives herself for not knowing sooner because it takes that long to confront Fury and see for herself that Phil Coulson is still alive, albeit in pretty rough shape. It takes her a couple more days to decide that he isn't just off sulking – leveling off as he calls it. And this she forgives herself for because if ever Clint needed time to be alone and level off, it is now. After Loki and the invasion. After finding out that Phil is dead because of Clint, even when it wasn't in any way Clint's fault. On the fourth day after the truth about Phil comes out, the ninth day after Thor left with Loki and Clint left for one more debriefing, Natasha begins to worry.

Before, with Phil still on the critical list as well as in a coma, so there could be no relief even if Clint had gone to see him, Natasha hadn't pushed to find him, figuring the news about Phil would do Clint more harm than good. Now, though, with Phil's condition moving from critical to guarded to stable, it is time to make sure that Clint has a chance to see Phil even if things still turn for the worst. She's also given him enough time to brood; anymore and he will simply wallow in it, useless to himself or anyone else.

Only Natasha can't find Clint. Not in any of the places the two of them have prepared for almost any eventuality, not though any of her contacts – or his. Clint is good in going to ground, but not _that_ good. Nor would he ever leave her hanging, especially not after losing Phil which is still what he thinks.

Fury is no help, acting surprised when she tells him Clint has gone off grid even from her. She isn't completely sure whether he's faking his surprise or not, but she refrains from adding to the shiner she gave him after finding out about Phil. Because Fury doesn't immediately assume that Clint is still compromised, despite the grumblings and undercurrent amongst the junior agents and analysts who now look at her as they did in the first days she came into SHIELD. Fury isn't quite as worried as she is, until she tells him that Clint still doesn't know that Phil is alive, and even then his worry is more that Clint might do something stupid out of grief to her concern that Clint hasn't disappeared completely of his own free will.

She doesn't think Clint is still compromised either, even without having observed Loki for as long as she had when they'd contained him once more in Stark's living room and then later when he'd been properly held in one of SHIELD's special prisons. This time Loki had been fettered and locked into chamber more likely created for her than the once constructed to hold the Hulk, in something little more than a coffin, a full sensory deprivation tank to drift in nothingness save for the mittens and chains that held him stationary in the liquid, and the breathing tank that also kept him from spinning any magics through his words, as Thor warned them of.

Natasha had spent less than two hours in one of those tanks after Clint had found them, frantic and nearly hysterical by the time Phil and Clint had pulled her free. She didn't think even a self-proclaimed god would fare all that much better, not that she actually cared. She was sure then and is still sure now that there is nothing Loki did during that imprisonment to reach Clint, not when she'd had all of the Avengers helping her keep an eye on the both of them.

Obviously, she shouldn't have let Clint convince her that he was fine now that Loki had been returned to Asgard.

In the end, she turns to Stark, as much as it pains her, for help. Although he has assured Fury that the fingers he'd sunk into SHIELD's computers during the Loki situation have been removed, and the SHIELD experts have confirmed that there is no more mal or spyware linking back to Stark or his AI, Natasha also knows that Stark is lying. Not even a saint would give up that much potential, and Tony Stark is no saint. Natasha doesn't much care, even though it likely means that Stark has had access to whatever files SHIELD has compiled on her; if she is being fair, she accessed Stane's, Pepper's, Rhodes' and Stark's dad's files on his son when she was working as Stark's PA.

Of course, she has no concern with fairness. But she is pragmatic, and if knowing what people put on paper about her makes Tony Stark feel better about fighting alongside her, about maybe trusting her, she can live with such secrets being held by such a man. He might be one of the few who are smart enough to read beyond the words and understand what they really convey, but even he cannot work in a vacuum, can't draw proper conclusions without context, and by the time he gains that context, they will either have become teammates or have nothing to do with one another.

And in no case, will Tony Stark be in a position to use any of his knowledge about her past against her more than once. She, or Clint if she cannot, will make sure of that.

Assuming she finds Clint.

*****

It doesn't take Natasha very long to decide that she doesn't like being in Bolshoi Ussuriysky. Even before the rifle shot causes broken shards of pavement to permanently scuff one of her favorite pairs of boots. It's too close to Siberia, for one, and it's now too close to winter to be comfortable here. Then there is that few in the old villages have any love for the Russians who stole their homeland from China as far as they're concerned. While she could have just as easily played herself off as French or Irish or American instead of falling back on her actual heritage, albeit in a blonde wig, considering the nature of the men she has tracked to find Clint, she decided it is better to be feared as well as hated rather than just be despised.

Natasha sets down the gun she's been openly carrying, then with a grimace she shrugs out of the coat and exposes herself to the bitter wind that is whipping around the tenements and warehouses, carrying not only the cold of the nearby mountain snow, but a faint spray of ice water from the docks just beyond her position. She isn't without weapons upon removing the coat – she is never without weapons, even when she is standing as naked as whatever day it had been when she was born – but she is offering them a gesture of good faith and divesting herself of the easily reached ones. She is also hoping they will reciprocate, not by also unarming themselves, of course, but at least by refraining from putting the next bullet into her body, although anything less than a headshot she could survive. (She may have left behind her trademark SHIELD catsuit, but the Kevlar she wore under her turtleneck and jeans was almost as comfortable, as flexible and effective, while also functioning as thermals.)

"I have a message for your boss," she calls out in Russian when nothing happens after the first minute beyond the cold settling into her bones. "Tell him the Dolce and Gabbana order was picked up, not cancelled, and his expertise in the fitting would be appreciated."

As a coded message, it's pretty basic, almost amateuristic, but of all the scenarios she, Clint and Phil have talked about over late night coffee either during tedious missions or after bad ones, a situation of Phil dying but not, of Clint then going rogue (but not?), never came up. If Clint is actually running from Loki and Phil's death, from SHIELD and his guilt, Natasha figures she should at least let him know that Phil isn't dead before he runs again. Or she kicks his ass.

The simplicity as well as the inanity of the message should also confuse anyone other than Clint, at least anyone other than another SHIELD agent that one of them somehow might not have shaken off, but even there, the knowledge of Phil's survival was known to very, very few.

"Tell him I have a room at the Ekspress Vostok in Khabarovsk," Natasha adds as she reaches back down for her coat and her gun. "Tell him I will be there for only two more days."

Three more hours, actually, once she makes it back, and not at that budget hotel. Tatia Precova might stay at such a place, but Natalie Rushman doesn't, not when she's back working on Tony Stark's payroll. Clint will know the timing and figure out the names. If he cares and if he comes. And if he doesn't, well, Natasha figures she's earned herself some time to travel through her old homeland no matter what name she decides to call herself. Clint will make contact at some point, even if it's just to warn her off.

Or kill her, she supposes, if she's actually been wrong about everything. She suspects that Ronin doesn't bother with second warning shots anymore than Hawkeye does.

 

**7\. Hello My Brother**

_Pass the bottle around my way. It's worth the empty feeling I suppose_

Phil eyes the bottle he's unconsciously poured from, hating it and hating himself for downing the drink anyway. He's always been very careful about when he drinks alcohol, knowing that even holding a beer in his hand makes Clint twitchy, that Clint still hesitates for the barest fraction of a second before coming near him if he even smells alcohol on Phil's breath, and that Clint will not ever kiss him in such circumstances. Not even on New Year's eve, much to their mutual discomfort when Phil had unwittingly discovered that two months after they'd first gotten together.

Even before Clint and his issues with alcohol, Phil rarely drank to get drunk, unwilling as well as untrusting enough to let himself lose that much control. Duty and SHIELD regs only reinforced tenets Phil had chosen to follow.

Had followed.

Control mattered little, however, when his soul had been stripped away along with his life. His lives, if he considers both his physical life and the one he'd made for himself with SHIELD.

Not that he's actually lost his job for having been declared dead and actually had flat-lined more than once as he's been told. For his _noble_ sacrifice, he's got his job for life, and there is that fucking word again… life. As if word or reality has any meaning any longer. He'll be lucky if he ever qualifies for any kind of field status again, has months of rehab and therapy to look forward to just to be able to sit at a desk for more than an hour without feeling like he is dying once more. Months before he can attempt to retrain himself, much less any junior or probationary agents, and possibly years before he finds himself on the other end of a radio, at least overseeing missions and operations if he couldn't be there in the middle of them directing his assets.

Of course, he needs to _have_ assets to direct or oversee in that hypothetical future, something that might be a long time in coming regardless of his injury and recovery, considering that his best, that the two he has fought for, bled for, and then championed into the Avengers Initiative because of their skills and his faith, have gone rogue as far as anyone other than Phil has decided.

Phil, and maybe Nick, but Fury's been closeted with the WSC for more hours than Phil has been sleeping in his coma and recovery for Phil to ask, and even Maria thinks the two of them have at least run off if not gone rogue, not that she will actually admit it to Phil's face. He supposes he can't even argue that they have run off, since that's exactly what they've done, though he'll swear to his dying breath that they haven't gone rogue.

He just wishes he could figure out _why_ they've run off and when they are coming back. That he was well enough to chase after them himself. That he could trust someone to do the looking for him.

He can't ask Maria; she has enough on her plate with his and Fury's absences, even if she was as confident as Phil that Clint and Natasha's disappearances aren't some move against SHIELD. Nick is also out for obvious reasons, and even if Sitwell or Woo were in a position to do anything other than help get SHIELD back on their feet, not to mention New York, he can't ask such a favor of direct subordinates. Unless the subordinates were Clint or Natasha, looking for one another or any other person Phil had deemed necessary, and never before now has Phil realized just how much he's come to rely on those two, to need to the two of them, as when he has access to neither.

It isn't his SHIELD life that he is mourning, but the team the three of them had become. Without them, SHIELD is just as empty as the bottle in front of him.

Phil tosses the bottle with all the fury he can muster, unmindful of the pain and the torn stitches, instead seeing in the glittering mess the remnants of his own life.  

For just a moment he stares at the broken shards and imagines picking one up, imagines replacing the honey gold of the bourbon with the dark claret of blood.

He reaches for another bottle instead.

 

**8\. Ballad of My Body**

_I heard my heart beat slow_

Clint would be bitching aloud right now, calling himself all kinds of a fool, if he had the breath or energy to curse. If he wasn't bleeding out.

Okay, he isn't bleeding out. Folz isn't that good a shot and Clint isn't quite _that_ stupid. He didn't come back to the States as a fugitive without wearing body armor. Not as good as his SHIELD issue, so Folz only had to get lucky, his first shot angled across Clint's hip where the vest had ridden up as he'd moved, then the second shot lodging in the back of Clint's thigh.

Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if Folz was lucky, had Clint not done everything else wrong. Like insisting that Natasha stay away from him once he'd figured out who'd been keeping him in custody, out of concern of dragging her into his mess. Despite her willingness, and the likelihood she's been tarred along with him anyway.

Perhaps because he is still trying to prove to her – and anyone else – most especially to himself, that he didn't lose something fundamental for having been Loki's puppet. He and Tasha, bailing each other out when one of them got taken or needed help, hasn't been a thing before this; they're partners and having each other's back is a big part of that, where egos are not.

Clint doesn't think it's ego even now, even in hindsight. He's always preferred rescue to death or being hurt so bad he can't come back from it. If it's a woman who's saving his ass? Well, he also prefers stand-up, kick-ass women over the shy types. Or the ones who saw themselves as victims, interested only in him as someone to save him. It's nice, sometimes, to be the one getting saved.

It's not ego, but it's something, as Natasha had obviously known it too for all that Clint can't articulate it even now. Because Natasha had let herself be run off.

Ego or not, this much hindsight Clint will cop to. It's stupid of him to have tried to see Phil without having _someone_ watching his back. Or at least he should never have trusted Danning not have told someone else that Clint had made contact.

Knowing from the get go that the WSC has moles within SHIELD; agents or assets that answer to the politicians instead of Fury, Hill or Coulson, Clint certainly hadn't needed to be at ground zero when the WSC had ordered a nuclear strike on Manhattan during the Chitauri invasion to remind himself that Fury didn't always call the shots. Only he had witnessed that, and still screwed up this.

He isn't bleeding out, but each step is agonizing. Clint's not actually sure he's going to make it to ground. His nearest bolt hole isn't near, not within walking distance even if he could keep moving. He doesn't dare a cab either. While he's managed to bind both wounds so that he's not dripping, he'll still leave a blood trail on the seat cushion or door. Folz may have tried to take him on alone, for the glory or maybe he really had been going for payback over Clint's attack on the helicarrier, but Clint can't have even the cops snooping around the neighborhood he'd like to get to.

He's managed a couple of miles from where he left Folz and Danning and it's unlikely they'll be discovered for at least another hour. So he could hold up right where he is, he supposes. It's not like most of the buildings around him aren't empty, either condemned from the battle against Loki and his allies, or businesses temporarily shut down while they try to cope with the loss of personnel, records, faith…

He could hold up, rest, and maybe get rid of the lightheadedness that comes from blood loss and adrenalin fade. Maybe scavenge something to eat from abandoned snack machines that haven't already been looted. But then what? He's still not walking out of here with the bullet still in his leg, and he can't get it out on his own, not without making an even bigger mess than it's already done.

Really, his only options are to give up or get help – either by trying to reach out to SHIELD directly, turning himself into the cops, or convincing someone nearby to perform a little field surgery without them turning him over to the cops. Maybe one of the shawarma people? He's almost right there and they'd proven themselves pretty damn resilient and helpful. They might recognize him as one of the guys with Captain America, Thor and Iron Man, and it wasn't like Stark hadn't thrown them an indecent amount of money for feeding them after the battle. He doesn't have Stark's kind of money to offer, but he's not come back to New York with nothing, and he –

He doesn't need Stark's money. Or shawarma folk. As evidenced by the Iron Man armor, Tony Stark isn't the kind of guy to go running to the cops. Or to SHIELD.

He can make it a couple of blocks to Stark's tower.

 

**9\. On Any Given Day**

_To be undone, to be alone_

Natasha swears she's going to kick Clint's ass when she finds him. Again. She supposes she should share some of the blame, since she knew that leaving him alone was not a good idea, but she'd been caught up in her own memories of how she'd felt anytime she'd been taken again to the Red Room, and she'd been reacting to what she needs in such a situation, not to Clint's.

Of course he's run, even if he called it protecting her. He'd let her find him, come to him, just that one time, so she could reassure herself that he was still alive and reasonably back into his own head. The trouble is, Clint's head isn't always a good place even on good days, too willing to play the hero whether she's the princess or not, and it's been months since they've had a good day.

There is a reason Clint still has a handler despite his seniority and abilities, despite him being an inspired operative on the fly and when a mission goes to shit. For all of his vaunted _eye_ , he has a blind spot a mile-wide, centered on himself. The shrinks call it target fixation, and it's a great thing when Clint's waiting for the shot. All too often, however, that shot is his only focus, to the detriment of himself, nor is it something he can just turn off when he isn't on a mission. That's why Phil refuses to let Clint operate solo; why she works as Clint's partner whenever possible. Having someone else to look out for, and having someone looking out for him, and Clint is damn near perfect. Leave him to himself and too often he reverts to being the kid who got left behind by everyone he knew. _And thinks he deserves it._

Natasha will kick his ass from here to New York, if that's what it takes to make him believe that he isn't alone. That there is life without SHIELD if that's their future. Without even Phil, though she might do some ass-kicking there, too, to make sure _that_ future is many years away.

She pours the last drink from her bottle and downs it in one gulp. She's a hypocrite, of course, since she's coping no better from being left behind. She expects to be abandoned no less than Clint, but the difference is that she insures she's the one leaving first.

It fucking sucks to be on the other side of it.

 

**10\. Portland Is Leaving**

_This is the kind of comedy where no one's laughing_

Captain Rogers, I am sorry to interrupt, but Anthony is still assisting Dr. Banner with Agent Barton's injuries and has switched off my communications capabilities into the operating theatre unless he addresses me first. In my ongoing review of SHIELD operations, I have just come across a directive I feel is most important to be shared and with Virginia off site, you are the only one who can override that command.

"Perhaps I should review the directive first?" Steve suggests, still uncomfortable with the idea that Tony's AI is systematically intruding into every file, program and email in the possession of a quasi-governmental agency, one of the ostensible good guys.

In his day, something like that would have been called treason – it probably is now, too. Which only makes Steve wonder whose moral code has done the greater shifting – the world's or his own – that he hasn't put a stop to it. (Not that he probably could, by ordering or just asking, but he hasn't even asked.) Their finding out about the Phase Two weapons and the militarization of the Tesseract energy only though such machinations has been his original justification, the justification then further cemented upon discovering that Nick Fury had further lied and manipulated them about Phil Coulson 's death.

At least Director Fury owned up to that lie when Miss Romanoff confronted him with the knowledge JARVIS had uncovered.  Just as he'd owned up to the weapons research, additionally giving valid enough reasons for the pursuit, at least to the soldier part of Steve. That lie hadn't actually sat as poorly with him as it had Tony or Bruce; as a soldier – as only a Captain – he'd never expected to be privy to goings on in the kind of circles Nick Fury operated in.

He thought they'd been foolish, trying to harness something of which they had no understanding. Especially after he'd witnessed first hand the kind of damage, the not just physical damage, the Tesseract could do, back in the war. He'd even felt a level of betrayal, given the Tesseract and the Red Skull had been what had taken his life. To see basically good people going down that same route had been painful, to say the least. But as for Fury's refusal to share SHIELD's operational plans…

Even now, 'Avenger' or not, Steve isn't sure he has the right to demand such information. That he – Tony – has the right to continue dissecting SHIELD's secrets.

Still, if Tony had stopped JARVIS before now, they wouldn't have found out that the order to drop a nuclear bomb on Manhattan hadn't been Fury's. Or that there were people above SHIELD, maybe above the duly elected governments of freedom-loving nations, actually calling the shots. Knowledge that isn't sitting well with Steve at all.

For JARVIS to be blowing an alarm now over something new… Steve may not like the thought of reading it, but he rather thinks he has to.

ATTENTION ALL SHIELD PERSONNEL

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, NICHOLAS JOSEPH FURY IS STEPPING DOWN AS THE DIRECTOR OF THE STRATEGIC HOMELAND INTERVENTION, ENFORCEMENT AND LOGISTICS DIVISION, TO TAKE A WELL DESERVED RETIREMENT. DEPUTY DIRECTOR MARIA HILL WILL STEP IN TEMPORARILY, UNTIL THE NEW DIRECTOR IS VETTED AND APPOINTED. CONSULT WITH YOUR IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR TO SEE HOW THIS CHANGE OVER MAY AFFECT ONGOING DUTIES AND MISSIONS.

 

**11\. Ordinary**

_Would you love, could you love to be ordinary?_

Phil is still laughing at the copy of the memorandum Maria had staked her own career on had she been caught forwarding it. Of course, if she had gotten caught, she wouldn't have deserved to be the interim Director of SHIELD. But she does, interim _or_ permanent. If the Director isn't going to be Nick, she's the only logical and qualified choice, something she knows as well as the rest of them. Therefore, the only way she would have gotten caught was because she wanted to be caught.

Phil rather thinks she might want to; he knows she doesn't want the top spot and all the ensuing headaches that come with it even outside the migraine that is the WSC alone. He's glad to know she hasn't sabotaged herself, however, as between Loki's attack, his and Nick's retirement (hah!), and all of the holes created by the dead, injured and those who wouldn't be able to return despite whatever recoveries, what is left of SHIELD needs some kind of continuity in their leadership. Needs someone who knows not only where the bodies are buried, but why it had been necessary to do so.

In a way he's surprised the WSC is keeping Maria, since she's just as loyal to Nick as Phil is. She is just as loyal to the cause, however, which is most likely why she hasn't told the Council to shove it. Something Phil would have done given everything, had he been in her position. Of course, he still resents like hell that he's been forced out alongside Nick, which only goes to show why Maria is the one being given the big chair – even if it is only temporary.

Who knows? Maybe she'll do such a bang up job filling Nick's shoes that the WSC won't be able to replace her. He could see her then telling the bastards to shove it, after they exhaust themselves trying to find the right puppet, which should give Maria enough time to get SHIELD back on an even keel. Or, of they're all lucky, be enough time that a few of the Council members get recalled and replaced by saner heads. The knowledge of the current members being willing to nuke an American city can't be sitting well with some of the UN members. Or Presidents and Prime Ministers. 

That, amongst all of the other shitty things the WSC has recently decided, certainly isn't sitting well with Phil.

Nor is the whiskey. And the feeling sorry for himself.

He's better than this. Or he was. And he refuses to let himself become one of those guys who sits at a barstool all day to talk about what kind of man he used to be. He's also damn sure he's not going to let Nick become that kind of man. Which means he's got to kick the booze and the pain meds, that he's got to get himself back into shape if not fighting trim, so he can kick Nick's ass if need be, or at least not be a hypocrite and a cliché.

So he can find his wayward assets – his friends. His family.

He might be benched, but he only stays grounded if he wants it that way.

 

**12\. Rocketship**

_I'm off on a rocketship prepared for something new_

Clint's still laid up in the room Stark gave him when JARVIS tells him that Natasha has caught up to him. For a moment, he counts his condition as a blessing, since it's less likely that she'll do more than yell at him for a while and he can always up his meds until he doesn't care or passes out to stop her. Only that's a temporary solution at best, and if Tasha's metaphorical ass-kicking gets delayed, she'll likely resort to a real one down the road. No doubt before he's recovered enough to make it a worthwhile fight.

Turns out Banner's pretty good as a field doctor, that even Stark is okay as a nurse, but all of them can get their asses kicked by fucking bacteria. As infections go, this one's not as bad as the time something similar turned into blood poisoning, and while he sick, Clint's not feeling any worse than the last time Tash tried to cook pot roast and potatoes for him. He's certainly spending much less time in the bathroom for both reasons than when Tash cooks.

Mostly it means he's been hobbling around Stark's place when he's not sleeping, taking advantage of the opulence that is Tony Stark and for once not entirely bored by being stuck in medical. Well, it's civilian counterpart. Where no real physicians and questionably legal medicine and medicinal practices abound.

He's also been hanging around Captain Rogers, which has been interesting for a number of reasons. Like the fish-out-of-water thing (which Clint's already gone through once with Tash, and Rogers is a lot more willing to try and adapt to his new environment). Or the fact that Rogers is the only other one here with a military background and an understanding of what that means when it is your calling – of what it means when it's been taken away from you. Then there's the Captain America thing which, okay,  Clint hasn't worshipped anyway near like Phil does, but he'd read a few of the comics when he could find them as a kid, and it's a kick discovering that Rogers really is that much of a boy scout as well as Regular Army.

Stark and Banner only seem to see the boy scout, which Clint finds hilarious. He thinks Pepper's figured out Rogers isn't nearly as naïve as he lets the others think (he knows JARVIS has), but she's almost as cagey as Phil when it comes to giving herself away. Pepper's a lot like Phil in a lot of ways, which has made things easier and harder for Clint when she's around. It would be easier all around if Clint had any idea where Phil actually was right now, if he had something more than Natasha's word – and Fury's, though even he's claiming not to know Phil's current whereabouts. And has enough of his own shit going on that Clint doesn't feel it's worth it to push for something more.

Pepper is trying to help him find Phil, just as she's helping him with a few other things. Such as pursuing any and all legal angles to get Clint off the watch and wanted lists. Just as surreptitiously as Stark is handling the hacking to help wipe out Clint's digital identity and is giving him everything he might possibly need to survive hiding out in real style.

Frankly, it's good for everyone that the two of them are on the side of the angels, not that Stark wouldn't make a much better Evil Overlord than Loki could ever imagine. Clint can see himself becoming one of Stark's minions, though he tries not to think about how close he actually is to that at the moment. Given that Stark is clothing, feeding, housing and hiding him, in basic opposition to government – SHIELD – wishes. Given that Rogers is less hung up over being somewhat in the same boat than Clint is.

Rogers and Stark, along with Banner, are just calling it being Avengers, which is what SHIELD, Fury and the WSC wanted of them – all of them – at least at one time. The fact that they aren't marching to anyone's orders but their own, that they don't need SHIELD or the WSC for funding or legitimacy might sit difficultly with their would be overlords, but Clint now knows where Phil got his moral compass from, and any time politics are taken out of the equation, the outcomes should be a lot more palatable. Reliable.

Of course, finding out that Fury has been ousted at SHIELD makes their stand easier to stomach too, even if Clint has a lot of respect for Maria Hill. There are enough people who think Clint's a hero that he might be able to convince the rest that he isn't still compromised or rogue. That he might even be able to convince himself.

Not that he would go back to working for SHIELD, not if Phil doesn't. But he's worked hard all his life at not becoming a criminal to take the easy way out now.

Not that, by the looks of her, Tasha is going to let him do easy anyway.

Well, then, looks like she's going to have to embrace being a hero – an Avenger – herself.

 

**13\. Under The Bright Lights**

_Hold me and watch the apocalypse_

Natasha watches Phil stop Clint with a swift hand, only slightly trembling and not because of the threat both have prepped and now stand ready to meet. She smiles. Sees the others smiling too amidst their own gearing and girding up. All of her life has been leading up to this: the Red Room, running, SHIELD, Loki, going rogue, and now, being an Avenger. No more lies. No more masters.

No more hiding who and what they are; be it kisses between lovers or the loosening of the monsters within. They are human, they are monsters. They are the only things standing between the other humans and even greater monsters.

Once they were called whores and war mongers, spies and assassins… weak. Useless. Now they are called heroes – super heroes – resentfully, perhaps, reluctantly but, yes, even by the WSC. Although Natasha will never think of herself as that, she does so of her brothers.

She does like being called an Avenger.

– finis –

 

 


End file.
